Clockwork orange

Ok, true, this is NOT trendy. But
1) Who cares, nobody can know who you are.
2) It's kind of better to have a silly look than a suntroke (also protects your neck from sunburns thanks to the convenient tail)
3) It looks like Grandma's napkins, kind of a comfort thingy.
4) And after you've walked/ pedalled after a truck on a dirt road, you realize there's only a certain amount of dust you can breathe in (peppered with flies and stuff).